The World’s Most Awkward Human Goes to Dance Aerobics

Lindsey Toth
2 min readMay 25, 2021
Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash

I think I might have been on a hidden camera show today… because this exercise class could NOT have been real life.

I signed up to a take a dance class at my gym… thinking it would be Zumba-esque. I walk into the room. Only about 8 women are in there and it’s 2 minutes past the time the class is supposed to start. A man walks into the class, straight to the front, speaking ZERO words. He starts some club music and immediately jumps into a wide squat with spirit fingers (NOT EXAGGERATING). It reminded me of the choreography coach from Bring It On. “These are not jazz hands, THESE are jazz hands!” He continues to dance with extreme emotion, passion, body rolls, and booty shakes, and I wonder to myself…

Is he making this up as he goes?

Am I supposed to be doing what he is doing??

I’m in such awe of what’s happening and the complete lack of verbal instruction that I failed to notice the room fill with 60–80 men and women of all different ages and physical fitness levels.

What happens next, shocks me the most. He STOPS DANCING. He just stops, and starts walking around the room. AND EVERYONE ELSE KEPT DANCING IN UNISON… except for me.

I was in the middle of some kind of cult flash mob and I didn’t know the routine. The amount of sweat dripping down my face as I pretended to know the correct way to “shake-it” made it clear to me that I was not in the middle of a nightmare… this was in fact real life…. and these people dance this insanely aerobic group of routines every. single. week.

At one point of the-longest-hour-of-my-life we all ran in place while pretending to ride a motorcycle in a very oddly sexy way. Or at least I thought we were running in place but everyone else was running into line formations for this crazy choreographed move where you body roll in the opposite direction of the person in front of you. Thank God, I accidentally ended up in one of the lines… I could have looked like a total moron….oh wait…

IN CONCLUSION,

I can’t wait to go back next week… maybe there will be a new person so I can watch them live out THEIR nightmare.

[originally posted on Facebook November 17, 2017]

**All Most Awkward Human stories are real life events from my awkward and very rarely exaggerated perspective. This incident occurred in Cupertino, CA at a gym called Bay Club. The class was called Danceation and you just might need to Google it to see some great videos. You’re welcome!**

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Lindsey Toth

The World’s Most Awkward Human series chronicles my daily struggle to interact normally with people and my environment.